I’m afraid of power. 
Having it and working under its great strain.

It’s that lifting of my head to a person who controls the money I make and the mood I’m in. Your day is good or bad depending on the mood of the people that sign your checks and give you some sort of purpose within this free market economy. 

I think and think and wonder what sort of work is meaningful to me…
[because it’s all about me, right?]
To some extent…well, to a lot of extent, I want to be happy with my work. 
Usually the things aren’t as glamorous as they seem.
I don’t believe anything is as glamorous as it seems. 

My work has to be meaningful. [And I’ll fight for this when I can.]
Money has this way of bonding me to its oppressive worth. I need it…want more of it…but make just enough that I don’t have to ask for more…[but more would be…helpful?]

Most decisions are made because of money. It’s a huge stressor and ends many relationships. It’s corrupt and dirty, but also redeeming and dignifying given the right [and just] circumstances.

I’ve learned a lot in this business. Creativity is lost as mega-corporations make decisions. The little guy/girl is forced to fight hard to make a little in the midst of economic doubt. People go with the brand name…even if it’s more expensive. We have such little faith in local stimuli.
I think this is a mindset that needs readjusting. I know I have been uncomfortable in the past with local business. Local product. Watching local try to make it big and fail.

I think about the pickle guy in Picayune who used to be a math teacher and feeling pretty sketchy about the pickles he made in his house.
Now, I’d rather eat the craft of peoples imagination than those radioactive and addicting boneless chicken wings at Applebees. 

It’s what we find value in. As my buddy Jon talks about the value of money — the dollar only has value because we believe it has value. I think this is how the stock market works to some extent, but I don’t really know. It still confuses me and I don’t really care to figure it out. I know green is good and red is bad.
This same value goes for most things we buy, love and share our lives with..
And I hope we don’t value people like we value the worth of money.

We lose faith in money, we’re in trouble.
We lose faith in people, we’re in even more trouble.

So I think on this. I think that things would get better if we started to trust others with more. Give them a more dignifying responsibility. Support their ideas and push for better, sustainable and local products.
We all live in around plots of dirt - we can grow things, right? We can go to the little grocery stores owned by Mr. and Mrs. and their son or daughter?

The older I get, the more I am worried with sustainable income and fully understanding that the decisions I make now effect the things I do [for money] in the future.

I think it’s good that I’m learning with people who cut out spending money on crappy fillers and focus on local goods. I know it’s better. It has to be, right?
You think about how much *given* product costs. You think about how many hands it passes through to get into your shopping cart. Think about that $3.00 product you just bought…and that everyone who touched that product wanted a profit. 

Either someone is getting screwed [usually the farmer or producer] or the product is crappy to begin with. This is messy. This is why it’s so very important that we use our buying power to support the people that really need it. It is a shame that the very people we owe our livelihood to can’t afford groceries of their own. 

What do you find value in? There is a difference between a cheap product and a human being. Unfortunately, there isn’t a difference in the two in many places…where the product being sold…is the human.

There is great sadness here. 

And this is where my heart has been thinking. 
What dignity are we giving to one another with our decisions?

May we continue to dwell on the Beloved. 

People are of greatest worth - not what they do or what they sell…but who they are. 

celebrate with the Beloved,

…and have faith in the pickle man.