Growing up, the idea of Oregon came through a 2-D computer game where I neglected my little brother who had dysentery to hunt for more food — even if I couldn’t carry it all the way back to my wagon.

Hey, priorities are priorities, am I right? Besides the fact, most people liked hunting more than anything else - though most those people are pacifists these days.

East Oregon looks a lot like, well, that. Those big rolling hills with sagebrush and that mighty beautiful sky. Far from 2-D.

As I said earlier, I have a crush on Portland – it’s enticing.
The smell of yeast cooking from the microbreweries as I walk to work – it reminds me of pumpkin pie and my uncle dipping his finger into a huge vat of cooking yeast at the Jack Daniels distillery back in the day. 

But life happens. It’s beautiful and hard. It’s scary. I was far away from everyone I knew, but was welcomed into such a warm community whom I’m so thankful for. 

We got married on a Saturday in April. 
It had been rainy up until then, as it usually is in the PNW. 
But this day…
this day was gorgeous.
My family rented an old house in North Portland for their stay. It was fun seeing them here. My sister, pregnant with baby Cooper, stood beside me as we held hands and became the Harrod-Casper’s in front of our dear beloved community. 
We made a bowl out of clay that was too dry, but it was perfect.
A great metaphor, in my opinion. I’m all about metaphor. 

I became the husband of my biggest inspiration. And what good times were had with family and friends.

Life goes on and I continue my job as a barista at the café – only to become promoted to a manager during some times of transition – an opportunity allowing Hannah to return to school and finish her degree in women’s studies, and giving me an opportunity to feel like I can make a difference in a place, even if it’s not mine to own. 
I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to serve others and to keep people from getting too upset with one another. :P

In the midst of the transitions, our family was met with the sadness of violence. We had lost my stepdad’s mother in an attempted robbery, and his father was left wounded, yet recovered and is still in the process.
We’re all still recovering.

I was in Drain, OR when I found out and buried my head into Hannah.
That drive home was rough. I would talk about it…and cry…and dry up again. I would repeat this till we got home, where I lit a few candles on our back steps and sat out to watch the sky. I thought about the Great Mystery and how Mrs. Grace was a part of it now and how we’re all called back to the Creator. 

I fought back and forth with the idea of a good God. I continually wrestle with this spirit of peace after seeing so much violence. We are living in a world that needs reconciliation more than ever – more than blaming each other about race and gender as a form of justice, we are called to live together in community, and in communion with the Spirit. This is what I’m learning. 

My sister gave birth to a baby boy named Cooper, after my granddad, “Brother JC”. I see a lot of myself in baby Cooper, because well, I think he looks a lot like me. He’s also quiet and cries when he’s hungry and is already a gentle spirit – Yep, maybe just like me. Hah. :P

It was a year that many were glad to see go, and I don’t blame them.
But this year for me has taught me much about life, adventure, sadness, love and forgiveness. 
We face the trials of newlyweds, of young minds soaking up wisdom as it finds its way into our lives…
…Like celebrating life a lot. Even when there’s really no reason to celebrate, still — we celebrate. 

So, here’s to 2010 - hopefully losing a little (aka “a lot of”) weight…catching up on books…writing a lot, love well and work hard. 

This is life…
and it’s so worth living.

Thankyou, 2009 for showing me all the vessels of humanity. 

Sincerely,
Josh