To December [or whomever it may concern],

You’re cold.
At least here, you are.
Cold air seems cleaner to me but I think it’s just psychological.

Cinnamon smells like Christmas.
Any other time I smell Cinnamon…it smells like Cinnamon.

My birthday is in December.
Celebrating life is necessary - this year it was simple and calm.
Usually I’m worried about everyone calling me, because I’m usually afraid of feeling lonely on this day.
But this year, I wasn’t - even with all the birthday love, I was content with the simple words of my family and the friendship of Hannah - and the fact that New Moon was ridiculously entertaining. cough*TeamEdward*cough

It’s a time of firsts - first birthday in Oregon with my wife, first Christmas, first December and it has been so vividly beautiful in all its simplicity.

There is a season changing in our hearts - our hearts warm in the embrace of such comfortable love - a few kind words, a cup of tea and a freshly made pecan pie.

[oh, and thankyou, Bon Iver for reminding me of Oregon and the shifts that have taken place in the midst of all this change.]

Life still finds a way to jump on my back, like a smothering blanket of uncertainty, stress and worry. Of course, the weight lessens the more you face it and talk about it. Otherwise, it gets heavier and darker and turns into short-tempered remarks and dismissive hand waves - how it’s so damaging to our hearts.

this december, I’m thankful for nonviolent communication. I’m thankful for disarming words and honest hugs.

Did I mention that it’s been cold?
Yep. On my way to work, I try to separate my body from the cold — I try to put myself in a warmer place, but it just doesn’t happen. 

But also, coffee tastes good in this cold.
A cheap luxury that I have the opportunity to make for others - to share a few words and to send them on their way with a little extracted anti-depressant in the form of water pressing its way through coffee. Such an intriguing art that I’m coming to appreciate more and more each day.

This coffee is supplying jobs for many people. It’s putting food into bellies and is sending kids to school. It’s supplying dignity and a living for many people. I take pride into making the best product for people - we should treat what they grow with pride like any other product.

December, thankyou for making coffee taste so good.
(Also, black tea. PG Tips or Golden Tips Assam - of course!)

I’m thankful for this month - for the bitter things made sweet with a little time and hard conversation. For warm food in our stomachs - a warm home [well, most of the time] and a place to sleep.

God…
is good.
And I’m learning…God is fair. 
I’m not always aware…but I’m quite sure God is. I come to fully understand my own broken humanity in the midst of a culture that tries to hide anything imperfect.
Create in me a clean heart.
Breathe deep that graceful air.


I’m reminded of the lilies and sparrows — oh simple beauties,

teach me how to sing.